Social Colors and Memory Recall

Social situations and Chromesthesia are an interesting combination. Especially when it comes to peoples' voices. For me personally, I hear color in other peoples' tones in their voice, which affects how I directly feel about the conversation. It is almost a mirror of reality at times, sometimes uncannily so. However I have also begun to understand that the colors are not always accurate. For example someone could be hiding something that had previously happened, and to me it comes across as yellow,which to me comes across that they are withholding something. That is not always the case. Usually it just means they are withholding something and not necessarily the topic of conversation at the time. This has led me to further try to understand the color inflections that I see and feel. Sometimes it is a feeling of a color, other times it is brightly seen.

Another aspect is films.

Movies are an escape for me and have been for many years. My father and I shared this passion for film. Most films bring on a sense of orange for me, especially if it is something I have fond memories of watching. V for Vendetta is a great example. It affects me because of the colors I see when I hear overtones in other peoples voices as well. Some tones bring about caution from me, a restraint
on my part or a withholding, other tones I am a lot more open to and allow me to express those parts of myself.

I did have difficult growing up and going to school, as a matter of fact as a
result of this I actually left school in Australia at 14, I returned when I was
17 however I worked in between as a laborer for my Father working
construction. I learned to distinguish between the colors better in that
environment especially of peoples responses to certain statements. It taught
me how to connect with others, how I could use what I saw and felt to help
judge the situation or how I could feel my way through social connections.

The one time I experienced an overload was when I went from Australia to
the United States where I currently reside. The plane ride over was filled
with overtones of red, blue and gray. Blue denotes a sense of adventure for
me at times, although it is also uncertainty. It does have other feelings
attached depending on the situation. For example when it comes to peoples' voices, a highlight of Blue generally incurs a feeling of great uncertainty, the lighter the color the more uncertain, the darker the color the more conflicted thought-orientated.

The variations between them on the shading scale from light to dark depend entirely on the color itself. The brighter the color, the lighter I experience the emotion attached, the darker the color the deeper I experience the emotion attached. This goes for most but not all colors across the spectrum.

Dark Yellow - Excluding Others // Light Yellow - Self Absorption
Dark Red - Sadness //  Light Red - Anxiety
Dark Blue - Conflicted  //  Light Blue - Uncertainty
Dark Green - Deepest Closeness // Light Green - Deepest Love
Dark Purple -   Belonging To Someone // Light Purple - Closeness/Reflective of Warmth
Dark Orange - Softly Passionate // Light Orange - Passionate Excitement
Dark Brown - Arrogance of self // Light Brown - Prideful of others
Black - This is the exception, Black is an all-consuming color for me, some of my hardest emotions to go through have been this color. Extreme Pain/Trauma.
Dark Gray - Consuming Depression // Light Gray - Low Points
Silver - Deepest Desire // Light Silver - Strongest Peaceful Thoughts.

The other aspect is the emotional memory response I have to the colors themselves. All of my memories are color coded.  It is how I recall information, for example, I can recall from memory phone numbers using the color the memory of them is. 911 for example is a light red memory for me. That is how I recall it. The same goes for memories in my past of previous events. As such I have a very detailed memory in the long term however I do suffer from short term memory loss. I am not sure whether it is the color assignment that takes the time or whether it is just me. Either way, I can't recall specifics in short term unless it is something astronomically stand-out'ish.

I'll end this one with an image of a song that I listened to recently and my charting of the colors involved. Although it does not do it justice as far as luminous it does illustrate the point:



This so for me is a journey of very deep passion. The parallel nature of the purple and orange is such that for me it is like seeing this image in 3 dimensional space from the top down, where the black line is the surface of the pathing, and the purple and orange intersect my path as I am traveling down it. Later on the green does. I see these as rays coming across my vision from left to right in this track.

It feels as though all stability is gone at the beginning, and as the song progress I feel a sense of belonging, akin to a partners' warmth. The closeness involved, that sensitive touch. The warmth feels more like an inner glow, like all that is good in the world is contained within. Then it radiates from my central core to the edge of my shoulders and then down to my fingers. As it hits my fingers it runs back the opposite direction and continues on like this for the duration of the chorus.

As the chorus ends and the 2nd verse begins I sense a depth of passion and elation like that of knowing that one is loved, like one is on a roller-coaster of orange about to go down the hill into a river of green. As it hits the green I feel a strong sense of belonging.

It is hard to concentrate on writing at this point because it is very overwhelming for me. I look left and can feel the green still covering me, yet I look right and I sense another rush of orange about to hit. As it does it brings upon an excitement, similar to when you are ready to give your all for what you believe.

It is at this moment that I pause for a second to feel all of this at once before the song fades out in a haze of orange, green, and purple spinning circular hazes.