The color Black for me has always been associated with my darkest/most traumatic memories and feelings. For the longest time it was exceedingly difficult for me to recall those memories and thoughts.
When trying to remember things, As I had stated in an earlier post, the most traumatic memories have a tendency to fade to black in my mind. Which makes recalling them difficult. As I've recently been working through a lot of these issues, I wanted to give insight into how I have come to learn and understand the power of this color in my life.
It can also double as the color associated with feelings of self redemption. I have begun to unravel a torturous past. Through learning this colors' meaning I have managed to free my mind of these things, process them correctly and learn to accept or reject them as part of my life. It has shown me that not all things that are hidden are bad, that they can be used to serve a good purpose and/or a purpose of understanding and acceptance. It is very freeing. After the fact I see them as more of a medium gray coloration. I am learning this is the acceptance phase of the memory. It is an interesting new road I have been traveling on. I thank the love of my life for supporting me in this.
I discovered a new color for me tonight while watching Game Of Thrones with the love of my life. This color is Gold. For me it washed me with a feeling of something very Pyrrhic, a very hollow form of justice. It was shiny, much similar to Silver for me, but it was the feeling and nature of the color that perplexed me. It still does as I am only just discovering this in myself. The feelings caught me off guard, I actually become a rambling, questioning mess at the time. Trying to put it into words is difficult, but imagine if you will something that you know you must do, but you know it will negatively effect your sense of moral code, yet you know it is the right thing to do and that doing so will undoubtedly lead to the suffering of others. It is like a fight within ones' soul between the role they must play, and the ideals that they hold. It felt initially cold, then a sense of knowing it is right. Mixed with a feeling of doing the honorable thing.
It was a very strange experience, I am not accustomed to feeling new colors. As I've listed previously as well there is a set list of colors and associated feelings that I have so far experienced. Although I am sure that is not all of them. This new "metallic based" series of colors has shown me new depths of feeling, but also a newer perspective on the reason why I feel this way.
It has helped me to understand myself better as well and my reaction to certain elements and situations.
Tonight I give you my first ever Silver track that I heard as such, it came from such a random source too because this is usually the last kind of music I listen to. Enjoy! It shimmers like the moon at night for me, especially towards the chorus where it is akin to extremely deep desires and thoughts. Very shiny, elegant, beautiful and captivating. It is like standing on a ship and sailing through an ocean of Silver, watching the waves crest over the bow and showering me in the most saturating warm glow. It is a sense of contemplation and knowing the likes of which I have never experienced previously.
It's almost like its on a sub-conscious level when it comes to Silver...it's very internalized for me, its not like the rest it has a depth and a clarity, it makes me shake when I see it sometimes, like shivering, but not from cold, from overwhelming feeling.
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