... And Then The Colors Went A Charting...

I have spent a lot time in recent memory pinpointing certain features and aspects of this gift I have.

It has taken me the space of over 20 years to be able to come to these notes about myself, over this time I have learned much.

Here is a great source color to emotion chart:

Silver - Deepest Desires and Thoughts Blue - Uncertainty/Thoughts Green - Love - Family orientated - Closeness Purple - Love - Partner - Belonging/Closeness/Reflective of Warmth Red - Sadness, Particularly Deeply Anxious Sadness. Yellow - Arrogance/Self-Absorption Orange - Passion

Gray - Consuming Depression/Low Points/Personal Want Black - The end of something, or closure, the deepest of lows Brown - Pridefulness, subtle version of red and gray mixed together.

One of my favorite experience is listening to a band called Red, Especially this most recent track I have discovered personally.

The best way I can describe this song is as follows:

"I am right here with you
I couldn't be more close
Pretending that I'm in this moment,
When I'm only a ghost
I listen to the words you're saying
Words I'm fighting to believe
It's like I'm living from a distance
When you're out of reach


I wanna feel it,
When I mean it,
When I say it,
Can you hear me at all?"

As the song begins, I feel a sense of light green wash over my mind, it is like being touched by a light warmth. As it hits, the peak melodically I feel a sense of gray that separates the green from me...this feels of personal want.

"And I feel so far away, far away from everything
Outside wondering when I got lost
I threw my arms up in the air, why do I disappear
How can your love be so close
When I'm so far away?"

This gray resonates through everything I touch, it is like seeing a ripple of gray...as it moves away, I feel that. I feel that want, that need. As it hits the chorus, I feel a sense of deep blue, it feels like a river, that runs backwards towards me, and as the edge of it flows over my feet I feel that sense of deep thought, conscience of its existence. Like that feeling you get when you are desperately wanting to find out the meaning of something, but you don't know how.

"Remember when you found me drowning
You pulled me from the deepest end
I promised that I'll never leave you
Now I'm drowning again


It's killing me with every breath
Witnessing the life I lived
Only you know who I am
I'm reaching out my hand


I wanna feel it,
When I mean it,
When I say it,
Can you hear me at all?"

As it shifts towards the end of the chorus, I see a red line moving in front of me, as I see it, it brings on a feeling of deep longing and sadness, a depth as deep as the ocean, yet as close as a finger tip touch. This red line continues as the chorus fades.

"And I don't wanna waste time
Living a half-life
Are you listening?
Now give it back to me!
I remember everything
The way it used to be.
Yeah give it back to me
Yeah give it back to me
I hear your voice
But inside I'm lost."