Wednesday, July 8, 2020

The Color Of...Pain

Synesthesia and Pain

Sadly, this is something I have a fair bit of experience with, especially lately given recent events. Pain and Synesthesia types often come in conflict and contact with each other. I have read countless posts from other Synesthetes who agree that the ones who sense color in other senses, ie. Chromesthesia (Sound -> Color) or Grapheme (Letters/Numbers -> Color) have also been known to have specific and repetitive color flashes or objects/shapes linked to pain. 

I do not believe this to be a coincidence. Although nerve disorders are prevalent for me, this is different. It's a very interesting sensation. Imagine if you will, being shocked by something electrical, more similar to a static cling that travel down the very inside of you, but you sense its nature is deep maroon red, in my experience this translates as acute pain that is experienced at the same moment this occurs. 

Others have described it as seeing a specific object or pattern, for example, a spiky red ball that represents a headache. They literally visualize these objects, and in all of this, we synesthetes have also learned to adapt and cope with these changes. 

For me being stationary is a big, big deal. Touch becomes incredibly sensitive and could possibly be linked to my attributes as a HSP (Highly-Sensitive Person) which in itself is a different situation again. When these things overlap you end up with a very strange set of circumstances and situations in life. 

A recent example: 

I was sitting in my room at home, and I felt the sensation described above, the more I moved, the more it traveled and rebounded/made my body recoil with agonizing nerve pain. Every touch felt like lightning that burnt like a thousand suns, literal fire personified. Along with this I experienced bright red, maroon and brown streaks. 

In order to alleviate this I tried essentially everything in my toolkit at home, to no avail. Tried rubbing Menthol soothing lotion, no dice. Cannabis, no dice. Aleive, no dice. Because this pain is an interpretation of the interpretation of pain. It's not actual pain, its a synesthetic mental response to pain itself. Therefore coping with it is a mental challenge, taking my mind off it, watching tv, being on my PC, talking, all of this helps. Eventually it settles and I am able to resume what I was doing. This takes a lot of will power to do, and is a trained skill that took me a long time to do. I know it sounds easy *in theory* but it is doable also.

This same situation occurs for me on an emotional level too, when the two collide it is incredibly difficult to manuevre, thankfully I have a lot of support from various people! Thank you all again, it means a lot to me personally to know that even though the situation is borderline indescribable, you are all still there! So thank you again.

On the emotional level, for me it blankets the entire day. If I go into work in pain, the day is tinted medium gray ( I say medium because it is not dark nor light) usually with accompanying maroon streaks that streak every time I am in pain. If the pain is exceedingly acute, ie. a strain from lifting something way too heavy, or worse, they turn into bright flashes, those who see spots will know what I am referring to with this as it is a very similar sensation, except color-coded!

This is certainly not a be all, end all list of reasons and situations but its a general outline of the way I perceive pain and the synesthetic responses that occur as a result. Everyone's situation is different, especially with Synesthesia. 

And on that note, I'll close this one out with a nice melodic green, purple and just for kicks, maroon track, enjoy and thanks for reading!


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